Make it Count

I read somewhere on the internet lately that people used to have 2-4 totally trustable friends. People they went to with secrets. The article said that if someone took a naked, embarrassing picture of themselves, back in the day, they had someone to hide it with.

I took a naked picture of myself.

It got sent to an old girlfriend. You know how it ends: it got leaked on a forum, I ended up on the news. Why? Because I was pretending to get sucked off by a life-size doll of Clara Warren, the actress. Not Clara Warren, the writer. No one knows about her, outside of her coverage of an obscure 1928 trial.

Yeah, now, doesn't that sound like a fun way to get famous?

Before the Fuck-Up of 2009, I was an illustrator, for a children's company. I did inking, mostly. Painting wasn't really my forte. We were still doing stuff on paper, though, who knows why. I kind of hated the job. I think most of us did. A lot of my coworkers were art school dropouts, disillusioned by all the bullshit. I went, I finished, and I didn't go anywhere with it. I never developed a for-sure personal style. Thanks, art school.

Now that I'm freelancing again, I'm fighting my way in to an artist's commune this summer. I have to beat real artistic talent to get in. What saves me? I have notoriety; places like Sunny Creek eat that shit up. Why get in someone who knows their shit, when you can guarantee a certain amount of media attention? It seems weird; all of the artist-y places like that are looking for coverage, not really looking to provide a quiet retreat. At least, that's how things were in this area.

My 15 minutes of fame are almost up. I'll reap what I can, before my eventual fade in to obscurity.

When I leave this city, I will say, "Good riddance". That is, until I come back. The underlying thing here is that I hate being the local pervert. This is a small place. Too many people, in too little a place.

I will go, go to my commune. I will produce something different: maybe a self portrait. A nude, maybe.

Maybe I'll draw it as a children's book kind of illustration.

Pop-up Book of the Perverts.